when I'm rolling with the punches, and hope is gone (leave a light on)
by selenicsoulmates
Summary: Her magic is her own, nestled deep within, and the glistening shard that sits in the center allows that magic to unleash as much power as she wants to the world around her in rays of pink and green, though normally pink, as of late. The wand is a simple tool. It just wasn't working, and because of that, she was going to lose this fight.


**Notes: I made this post-season 2 thing pretty much as soon as Bon Bon came out, so the probability of this happening is…low…incredibly low. But I put a lot of thought into it and outlined literally everything before the second half of the season came out so screw it, right? Who doesn't like some good 'ol "this could happen in canon but won't but it's cool anyway" canon divergence?**

 _ **For Ella**_ **. Thanks for being one of my only friends in this entire fandom and tolerating all my theories and headcanons and AU ideas, lol.**

* * *

The wand, while harvesting the memories of generations of hosting the power of some of the most powerful spells the universe can conjure, is pretty simple to understand. At least in the whole magic-casting sense.

Star calls out the spell she desires, imagination focused and unyielding, and the spell appears – whether it's a happy pink cloud or dozens of blood-thirsty warnicorns. This is how the wand works. Her magic is her own, nestled deep within, and the glistening shard that sits in the center allows that magic to unleash as much power as she wants to the world around her in rays of pink and green, though normally pink, as of late. The wand is a simple tool.

It just wasn't working, and because of that, she was going to lose this fight.

Star envisions a rainbow fist pump, but from the cracked star comes an ugly, green beam of light that rattles her as it leaves. It hits Ludo, at the very least, but merely sends him off-center instead of through the fence on the opposite side of the yard, now their makeshift battlefield, like she was hoping it would. She curses in frustration, jumping quickly when she sees the spider send a blast of white webbing by her shoes.

The party she and her friends were attending as opposed to Marco's (an ache weighs heavy in her chest, and damn it, she can practically _feel_ her magic get more uncontrolled when she thinks about him) had quickly come to an end once Ludo showed up, and with the same backup as last time, too.

The battle was immediate, and he seemed much more focused than she was. At least she had the simple sense to send her friends inside where it was safe – away from her and the monsters that had stampeded behind Ludo. Janna had argued for herself to fight alongside her friend, as did Starfan13, but this wasn't some graveyard battle against a bunch of rats and a chicken in a clown costume. This fight was different, she knew it, and the thought of her losing weighed down heavily on any remaining confidence she had. Ludo was different – his magic more controlled and basic spells she had learned were being shot at her while all she could manage was her screwed up magic.

(And she couldn't allow herself to screw up again. She couldn't allow her friends to get hurt because she failed to get her emotions in check enough to fight properly. So she managed to barricade the house with her magic and separate the backyard from her frightened friends that watched from inside.

One less mess-up to worry about.)

Star did allow Ponyhead to stay outside – her magic was working, at least, and the giant eagle was preoccupied with her flying friend instead of her. She seemed to be getting a kick out of it, too, if she had legs.

"What more do you want?" Star yells at Ludo. She points her wand and sends the spider into the abandoned DJ booth, where it crashes into a pathetic heap. "You stole my spell book, you stole _Glossaryck_ , and you have a wand. What else is left for you to take?"

The monster ceases his spells to stare back at her, head tilted and maniac. He taps his wand against his chin. "I do suppose I have everything don't I? Everything to take you down, at least. But, you see," Ludo pets his wand with his other hand, eyes wide with a psychotic look that would send anyone else running. The chicken monster was so different from last year, when all he wanted was to twirl around in his little dress and blast things with her wand. He was a real threat now, chip bag and all, and Star wasn't sure if her own magic alone was enough this time around. "My wand told me that I need to finish _building my collection_."

"What are you talking about?" Star demands, her own wand at the ready.

He laughs maniacally. "My wand's incomplete. I have merely a shard, so I need the other piece." Ludo smirks up at her. "And frankly, I need real magic to put it together."

"Stop sputtering nonsense," Star points her wand across the field to blast what she hopes is a narwhal, but the green light seems to be the only magic she can summon. It's powerful, at least, and an explosion rattles the ground and brings up clouds of dust that cover her vision. She waits as the smoke clears, and Ludo stands unharmed. Protected under a green dome that sizzles to nonexistence. Star huffs, frustrated.

"You're a fool, Princess Butterfly," Ludo spits. "I can't dip down and reach the chunks by myself."

Star stares, confused, until it clicks. Cauldrons. Bubbly Stew. Dip Down. Glossaryck must have told him about it all. And that's why he's here, with backup, self-assured and determined and _prepared_ , unlike her. What he's really here for is "Me?"

"You."

Her stomach coils, and she can't decipher if she's angry at Glossaryck for telling Ludo about her, or angry at _herself_ for losing him in the first place. She wants to blast Ludo's head off – send it flying into oblivion and get him out of here and away from her friends. She tries to cast a spell, to dip down and use the magic she was able to show Baby, just before she calls the spell off to throw her power into a beam of green light at the platform headed straight at her. Ludo's _Levitato_ spell breaks apart, but the explosion sends her flying backwards into the fence and onto the ground, pieces of wood falling around and on top of her.

Her leggings are ripped, there are tears in her dress, and she doesn't even want to imagine the amount of new scrapes and cuts she has – the sting in her body darts to her legs, up her spine, to her left arm, all the way up to the back of her head. Her vision clouds as she forces herself to stand, balance wobbled – another bad sign on a really bad day.

"Star!"

 _No, no, no,_ _ **no**_ _. Not now._

She sees Marco run at her desperately, on the opposite side of the barrier he _should be behind,_ and _crap,_ she sees his interdimensional scissors glisten under the remaining lanterns that hang above them. Of course he figured out how to get to her and stay by her side, no matter how much she didn't want him there.

"Marco, no, _get out of here_ _ **now**_ _!_ "

He flips onto one hand before forcing his foot down onto the head of the spider that darted immediately to his side. "I'm not leaving you!"

She wants to scream at him – _Levitato_ his entire body until he's 10 blocks away and safe, away from her and away from all the danger she brings. _Damn it, Marco, you're part of the reason I can't work my stupid_ _ **wand**_ _!_

Instead, she focuses her frustration in her magic casting and sends another beam of green light at Ludo, before cartwheeling away from a well-countered strike of lightening that rippled against the earth. The dirt cracks underneath her feet, tripping her, and she scrambles back to solid ground and runs.

"Can't run away forever!"

 _Oh, I can try._

Star directs her magic at the panels of wood below her feet, sending her up and away from Ludo's spell, and she manages a meek rainbow punch in his direction. She smiles as it hits – a rainbow of stuff or a meek beam of colors, she'll take whatever she can get.

"Why won't you just go _away_ ,you fashion-backwards chicken!" Ponyhead's horn glows bright blue, directing it at Ludo, before the giant Eagle monster knocks her down into the patio deck below. The grill tumbles down next to her, commotion rising from behind the barrier.

"Ponyhead!" Star calls, and her anger swells in, rising from her belly out to her hand that holds her buzzing wand. It flashes green before emitting energy at the Eagle that was about to crush her friend below its sharp talons. Star concentrates on the Spider monster headed in her direction, congregating what she hopes will be a Warnicorn Stampede and finally end this.

"Enough!"

And it dies down – freezes up, everything in her, because Marco's on his knees, Ludo's own wand pressing against the side of his head and glowing an evil, chaotic green, as if the thing's humored by her current position.

"I know your magic's on the fritz, Princess," Ludo laughs. "Mine tells me _everything_. So give up now, and your precious Earth Boy lives."

It's kinda like she's forced back in time, watching Marco press against a thick glass before she watched it sink into the floor of a castle. A mutant, seven-fingered lizard was in control then, though, but it's so similar now, so disturbingly similar how trapped they both are.

She'd do anything for him then, and more than anything now.

Star just wishes she could have told him herself, though. She wishes she could have told him just how much he means to her, and how much of her life has changed because of him. How much more she wanted in the little time they had, and how she never wants to lose him, even if it means losing herself.

She's too young to know, but maybe that's what love is – giving away all you are so that other person is okay, even if you aren't. She looks at Marco, how he shakes his head back at her with despairing eyes that try to convey messages she'll only ignore.

Love for him is the only answer she'll ever have.

The wand sizzles and Marco flinches in Ludo's hold. "Star, I'm fine, I promise. Please, just _please_ don't do this."

 _I'm sorry._

"Okay," she drops her wand to the ground and raises her arms above her head in surrender. "Okay, okay. You can take me, just…just _leave Marco_ _ **alone**_."

A wicked smile slides onto Ludo's face, pungent and vile, and he sends Marco backwards toward Ponyhead in a quick wave of his wand. Then he aims it at her.

" _Elēkrŏn Tonitrui_."

Defenseless, she recognizes the thunderstorm spells that hurls at her, and she has nothing to protect herself with then her hands, crossing over her as she turns away from the light. It hurts just as much as she remembers the book of spells saying it would. The electricity that stops her heart for a quick second, the thunder that rattles and shakes her entire core, loud and unforgiving. Star's never practiced it, and she swears never to do so as she feels herself crumble onto the ground. The pain paralyzes her until all she can see is red, nearly blacking out from it.

Star's ears ring, worse than the time her dad and she fought that screeching dragon for two straight days, but she catches the sound of her name, desperate and unnerved. She can't even raise her head to look and see if he's okay, if he or Ponyhead are safe.

 _Please, please,_ _ **please**_ _don't come after me._

Talons dig into her sides, wrapping around her body and lifting her off the dirt, arms limp and hanging in the air. Her body caves in, weak, and though her vision is blurred, she sees Marco upside down, pushing himself off the grass. She wishes he'd stay down.

He calls after her and runs, but it's too late. She hears the familiar tear of ripping into empty space behind her; Ludo must be directing the bird on where to fly off with his new prize. "Go, Spider!" Ludo orders from above, the monster jumping from the tree to escape ahead of them, and she sees its webbing drag her wand behind it with little care. "Say goodbye to Marco, Princess Butterfly."

" _You're the best friend a guy could have."_

Her head clouds, watching Marco as he chases after them until all she can see is the constant swirl of green and black, and then nothing at all.

She doesn't get to say goodbye.


End file.
